Day 1: Love is patient. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. —Ephesians 4:2
The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret
Day 2: Love is kind. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. —Ephesians 4:32
In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
Day 3: Love is not selfish. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. —Romans 12:10
Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking of you today.”
Day 4: Love is thoughtful. How precious also are Your thoughts to me. How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. —Psalm 139:17–18
Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire. Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.
Day 5: Love is not rude. He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. —Proverbs 27:14
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.
Day 6: Love is not irritable. He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. —Proverbs 16:32
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
Day 7: Love believes the best. [Love] believes all things, hopes all things. —1 Corinthians 13:7
For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic. —Song of Solomon 8:6
Day 8: Love is not jealous.
Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
Day 9: Love makes good impressions. Greet one another with a kiss of love. —1 Peter 5:14
Think of a specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.
Day 10: Love is unconditional. God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. —Romans 5:8
Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse—something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.
Day 11: Love cherishes. Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. —Ephesians 5:28
What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you” and do it with a smile.
Day 12: Love lets the other win. Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. —Philippians 2:4
Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.
Day 13: Love fights fair. If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. —Mark 3:25
Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.
Day 14: Love takes delight. Enjoy life with the wife you love all the days of your fleeting life. —Ecclesiastes 9:9
Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they’d really like to work on. Just be together.
Day 15: Love is honorable. Live with your wives in an understanding way and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. —1 Peter 3:7 Let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. —1 John 4:7
Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.
Day 16: Love intercedes. Beloved, I pray that in all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers. —3 John 2
Begin praying today for your spouse’s heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse’s life and in your marriage.
Day 17: Love promotes intimacy. He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. —Proverbs 17:9
Determine to guard your mate’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.
Day 18: Love seeks to understand. How blessed is the man who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding. —Proverbs 3:13
Prepare a special dinner at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer. Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you’ve rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your mate. TODAY’S DARE Look back over the dares from previous days. Were there some that seemed impossible to you? Have you realized your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to love? Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him, and ask for the strength and grace to settle your eternal destination.
Day 20: Love is Jesus Christ. While we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. —Romans 5:6
Dare to take God by His Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to pray, “Lord Jesus, I’m a sinner. But You have shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and You have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection. Lord, change my heart, and save me by Your grace.”
Day 21: Love is satisfied in God. The Lord will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire. —Isaiah 58:11
Be intentional today about making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading a chapter out of Proverbs each day (there are thirty-one—a full month’s supply), or reading a chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). As you do, immerse yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth as you walk with Him.
Day 22: Choose to be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in receiving it.
Hosea 2:20 “I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.”
Day 23: Remove anything that is hindering your relationship, stealing your affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.
I Corinthians 13:7 “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Day 24: Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it.
I John 2:17 “And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”
Day 25: If there is anything you haven’t forgiven in your spouse, forgive it today.
2 Corinthians 2:10 “Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive. Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ…”
Day 26: Ask for God’s forgiveness for your areas of wrongdoing, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse.
Romans 2:1 “Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.”
Day 27: Think of one area where your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it.
Psalm 25:20 “Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.”
Day 28: Purpose to do what you can to meet the greatest need in your spouse’s life right now.
I John 3:16 “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.”
Day 29: Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs.
Ephesians 6:7 “rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man…”
Day 30: Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse and, if appropriate, discuss it openly and seek God for unity.
John 17:11 “And I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one.”
Day 31: Commit to God and your spouse to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Day 32: If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your spouse today (in a way that honors them).
I Corinthians 7:3 “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.”
Day 33: Tell your spouse that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel.
Ecclesiastes 4:11 “Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?”
Day 34: Verbally commend your spouse about a recent time when they demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way.
I Corinthians 13:6 “[love] …it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”
Day 35: Find a Christian marriage mentor. Ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.
Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Day 36: Commit to reading the bible every day. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to reading with you.
Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
Day 37: Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together.
Matthew 18:19 “Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.”
Day 38: Ask yourself what your spouse would want if it was obtainable, then map out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires.
Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Day 39: Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Leave it in a place where your mate will find it.
I Corinthians 13:8 “Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”
Day 40: Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home.
Ruth 1:16 “But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.”
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS THIS WEEK AND FOEVER MORE IN JESUS NAME. AMEN.
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