LET’S TALK ABOUT SE X 101

I get a lot of messages in my mail box and on my BBM with question concerning sex. 

For all my naive, young and inexperienced sisters, 18 and above, this is a special article for you.

Please, You should never feel pressured to have sex. Having sex with you against your will is rape and should be dealt with urgently.

Sexual experiences should not leave you feeling uncomfortable, confused, or thinking you have done wrong.



What is sexual health? Sexual health means both physical and emotional health in matters relating to sex, sexuality and reproduction. Sexuality is more than just sexual acts or reproduction. It includes our desires, feelings, what we do, our values and attitudes. Reproductive health includes safe development into adults, the avoidance of sexual and reproductive illnesses, the ability to choose when to have children, to conceive safely and to avoid unwanted pregnancy. It also involves good health care to avoid the complications of childbirth, abortion, use of contraceptive methods and the long-term effects of sexually transmitted and reproductive tract infections. People learn about their sexuality, and about sex and sexual health, from different sources: parents, friends, teachers, radio, newspapers and television, work colleagues, community elders. When people have a concern about sexual health, it may be possible to go to formal health care services, such as clinics or hospitals, or to traditional health healers. Anyone to whom people go for advice or treatment is a sexual health carer or educator


• You may have concerns and questions about sex, and the safe and healthy expression of sexual feelings. You may also have concerns and questions about sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy and practicing safe sex.  

• These concerns and questions are normal.   

• If you need answers or wish to speak to someone professionally about these topics in a confidential environment, please you can do so by visiting a clinic near you for more detailed advice and tips.

Remember, the decision to have a sexual relationship is an important one that should be carefully considered—it means intimately sharing your physical and emotional self with someone else. Sexual intimacy is a gift; how we decide to express that gift is an individual choice that has many variations.  If you choose to express your sexuality, have love and respect for your body and ensure your sexual expression is safe; it’s important for your physical, mental and emotional health. 

SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES (STDS) If you are sexually active, practice safe sex to help you maximize the benefits and minimize the risks. If sex is not safe, you risk contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD). STDs are passed through sexual contact with an infected partner. They include diseases such as AIDS, Chlamydia, gonorrhea, genital herpes, genital warts, and syphilis. 

If untreated, STDs can lead to: • Infertility (unable to have children) • ↑ Risk for some cancers • ↑ Risk of premature birth  • Heart disease • Brain damage • Birth defects • Death 

STDs can have serious results. See your doctor early if you think you have been exposed to an STD

STDs are spread through contact with: 

• Infected body fluid such as blood, vaginal secretions or semen 

• Infected skin or mucous membranes. - for example sores in or around the mouth  

Activities that expose you to potential infection include:

 • Vaginal, anal or oral sex without proper use of a latex condom or other barrier methods.  

• Anal sex is especially risky because it often causes bleeding. 

• Sharing needles/syringes for drug use, body piercing, tattooing, etc. 

You cannot  get STDs from everyday nonsexual activity like:

 • Donating blood 

• Sitting on a toilet seat 

• Touching doorknobs 

• Sitting next to an infected person 

• Sharing eating utensils 

• Using a swimming pool 

STD SYMPTOMS  

Some STDs are passed on silently, with no visible and/or external symptoms; so you or your partner won’t know you have an STD.  Other STDs present with signs that may include: 

• Sores or blisters on or around the sex organs or mouth.

 • Pain or burning during urination. 

• Discharge from the vagina that looks or smells unusual. 

• Itching, swelling or pain in or around the sex organs. 

• Seek medical treatment early if you think you may have been exposed to an STD.  

• Early detection and treatment can prevent serious and permanent damage.   

• Practice safe sex to help prevent STDs. 

SAFE SEX AVOID STDS: Not having sex is the only sure way to avoid STDs. 

• Foreplay with your partner (on unbroken skin) or alone provides safe sexual expression. 

• Kissing is a safe way to be physically close, when both partners have no cuts and sores in or around the mouth. 

• Use barrier methods like latex condoms. 

 • Limit the number of partners you have but remember, you cannot tell if someone has an STD just by looking at them! 

Many STDs have no obvious visible symptoms and people may be carrying an STD and not know. 

• Don't inject drugs or share needles for drugs or body piercing or tattoos. If you get a piercing or tattoo, ensure the facility has strict hygiene standards e.g. single application needles, sterilization of all equipment, etc. 

• Avoid alcohol or other drugs as they can make you more likely to take chances during sex. 

• Don't douche (put water or other fluid up your vagina after sexual activity) as you may force germs further up into the vagina and/or alter the natural protective barrier of vaginal fluids. 

CONDOMS: Latex condoms are your best protection from STDs during intercourse.   

• Only use latex condoms: STDs may pass through “natural” or "skin" condoms. 

• Use a water-based lubricant. Never use products that contain oil-based lubricant such as Vaseline or cooking oil as they can cause a condom to break. 

• Use a new condom every time you have sex as old or reused condoms can break. 

• Used correctly, condoms are 95% effective for birth control (to prevent pregnancy).  

PREVENT UNWANTED PREGNANCY 

You CAN get pregnant the very first time you have sex once you start seeing your period;

 if you don’t have an orgasm; 

and if you have sex standing up. 

HOPE IS NOT A BIRTH CONTROL METHOD! 

There are a variety of contraceptive methods for women to choose from, including: 

The oral contraceptive pill (OCP) is the most common form of contraception used by athletes. It consists of synthetic female hormones, estrogen and progestin, which prevents ovulation (when eggs are released from the ovaries). OCPs thicken the cervical mucous, making it difficult for sperm to reach the egg, and therefore reduces the chance of pregnancy. Many different types of OCP are available; most women can find a suitable choice. THE ORAL CONTRACEPTIVE PILL (OCP): is timed to your monthly menstrual cycle and  

• If the birth control pills are taken at the same time each day, they're 99% effective at preventing pregnancy.   

• Delaying or missing even one pill can significantly reduce their effectiveness. 

• Some antibiotics and gastrointestinal (GIT) illnesses, like diarrhea and vomiting may decrease  the reliability of the OCP in a few women. Use a barrier form of contraceptive, e.g. a condom, if you are taking an antibiotic or have a GIT illness. 

• Some women take the OCP to help regulate their menstrual cycle and its symptoms (painful periods; irregular periods etc.) or treat hormone related skin conditions. 

• If you stop taking the pill usually you will ovulate and have periods within 4 to 6 weeks. Speak to your doctor if you don't have a period within 3 months after you stop taking the pill.  

Barrier methods = condoms or the diaphragm (a specially fitted device inserted into the vagina before intercourse).  An intrauterine device (IUD) is fitted into the uterus by a doctor. Not recommended for women who have not had children. The contraceptive patch is applied to the skin. It is as effective as the OCP and may be a better alternative for those who forget to take the pill. It may not be effective for athletes, as it may not stick while sweating. 

• If you think you may be pregnant, see your doctor as soon as possible. 

WHAT ARE THE RISKS OF THE OCP? 

• There are very small risks for healthy young women on the pill. The risks include: blood clots: at the most the OCP may increase risk from 1 in 10,000 to 2 in 10,000; stroke; high blood pressure; weight gain:  some women gain a little weight (up to 5 pounds or 2.5 kg) that is usually associated with water retention.  • Some newer OCPs, which contain a different progestin, may prevent weight gain by reducing water retention. 

 • You should not take the pill if you have a history of stroke, blood clot, or liver disease. 

• Before taking any contraceptive pills, patches or implants, contact Your doctor to prescribe which is most suitable.