Are you experiencing domestic violence? What type? Seek Help Fast...

Domestic violence happen to both men and women, takes place within an intimate relationship and forms a pattern of bullying and controlling behaviour. Domestic violence tends to get more severe and happens more often over time.

If you are being forced to alter your behaviour because you are concerned about or frightened of your partner’s reaction, it is likely you are being abused.


Anyone can experience domestic violence – it can happen in all kinds of relationships, regardless of age, race, gender, sexuality, disability, class, geography and lifestyle. It is rarely a one-off event and it includes a variety of behaviours, as you can see below.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE :

Belittling, sulking, blaming you for the abuse, making you think you are crazy by denying the abuse, degrading you, isolating you from family and friends, minimising the abuse, making unreasonable demands for your attention, blaming you for all the arguments, verbally abusing and insulting you and your loved family members etc

THREATS AND INTIMIDATION

Threatening to hurt you, destroying objects that belong to you, threatening to kill you, standing over you, invading your personal space, threatening to kill themselves (and children), reading your emails, texts or mail, harassing you, following or stalking you etc

PHYSICAL ABUSE

Slapping, pushing, shoving, hitting, pinching, punching, grabbing, biting, kicking, using a weapon, spitting on you, poking, burning, strangling, choking, throwing objects, holding down and ultimately, murder etc

FINANCIAL ABUSE

Controlling all the finances, making you account for every penny you spend, making all the major financial decisions etc

SEXUAL ABUSE

Inappropriate and unwanted touching, unwanted sexual demands, hurting you during sex, pressurising you to have sex, sulking if they do not get sex, having unsafe sex, not informing you of any sexually transmitted infections, rape, beating you before, during or after sex etc

Myth: it is believed that Men who experience abuse are weak or not ‘real’ men.

Reality: It takes great strength and self-control to put up with long-term abuse without retaliating.

Many guys initially find it incredibly difficult to talk about their experience of domestic violence. Some feel that the very fact that they have suffered abuse somehow weakens or belittles them in their own or other people’s eyes. They fear the ridicule or disbelief of friends, colleagues and the outside world, and worry they might fit the old stereotype of the bullied husband/partner. They feel that they should be able to shrug off verbal, emotional, and sometimes physical violence from a partner, and that to talk about this or ask for help makes them less of a man. A ‘real’ man should be stoical, self-sufficient and able to cope in all situations. The reality is that it takes great strength and self-control to put up with long-term abuse without retaliating when you are physically the stronger party. It takes strength to stay in a controlling unhappy relationship (sometimes for years), for the sake of your children, or because you still love your partner and hope that they might change. It takes more strength to admit that you are in an abusive relationship, and that you might need help from someone else.