IS LOOSE VAGINA REALLY A PROBLEM?

PROBLEM 1.

Aunty, My husband says he doesn’t enjoy sex with me anymore. He says my vagina is now too loose  and too wet for him and that it is it supposed to be tight and not loose. It wasn't like that before. I too don't feel any friction whenever he is on me. I’m really upset about what he said. Is there a solution to this type of problems? We love each other dearly but this looks like it's going to be a problem in our marriage. I feel very abnormal right now.

Biola

PROBLEM 2.

Aunty Muna has making babies ruined my vagina and my sex life? I am a married 28 year old woman and I have two kids. I noticed this problem started after having my first child. Now after having my second it has worsened. Aunty M, my V is so loose now that I can barely feel anything during sex. My husband is richly endowed ( I call him Mr Endowed) which makes it even worse for me that I can't feel him inside me any longer!

It seems to be a combination of being too wet and too 'wide' inside there. I have tried to talk to my darling husband about it but it's so hard, he always says everything is fine because he's a sweetheart and doesn't want to upset me, but I know he sometimes finds it hard to come as there isn't any friction for him. Sometimes he will even pretend to cum when he notices that I am getting upset at nothing happening. I am devastated that my sex life is virtually over.

Thanks Mary

PROBLEM 3.

Aunty Muna please how do I tell my wife that her vagina is too wide and that I no longer enjoy sex with her? It is supposed to be tight always. It is also too wet that it feels like I'm swimming in it. What's going to happen when we start having kids? I'm worried. 

Cash.

GENERAL ANSWER

Let me clear the air first.

Is it true that being "tight" during sex is a good thing?

The honest answer is NO. This believe is so WRONG! Absolutely, completely, totally 100% wrong. In fact, that particular myth is exactly opposite of the truth.

When a woman is very sexually aroused, her vagina actually loosens up, moistens up and her cervix pulls up to allow for comfortable penetration. That is just the way that sexual arousal works for we women, thank goodness. So you should be looser when attempting vaginal penetration, not tighter. In fact, feeling "tight" is usually a pretty good indication that a woman is either not interested, not ready for penetration or simply does not want to be involved in penetration (or sex) at that point.

Being "loose" means you've had lots of sex or had sex recently etc. Oh how wrong!!! Again, this is absolutely false. Being relaxed and well lubricated means that you're into whatever sexual activity is going on. It is important as well to understand that the vagina is a muscular tube. This means that the vagina will conform to whatever is inside it. So when there is nothing in a woman's vagina, it is closed in on itself (in other words, the walls will be touching). Essentially, it goes back to exactly the way it was prior to penetration. Immediately after sex, the vagina may remain relaxed for several minutes, but it will return to its prior state very shortly. Certainly, like any muscle, there are variations in muscle tone, but for most women, especially younger women, there's just no reason to worry about a lack of tone with the vagina and the surrounding muscles, and having had sex doesn't decrease tone: in fact, that'd be a pretty backwards thing to think about the use of any muscle, since use increases tone of the muscles. You could have intercourse everyday for a year and it still wouldn't change a thing. Similarly, you could abstain for a year and it wouldn't change a thing either (except for the fact that when you do have sex again, you are aroused and relaxed).

Penetration permanently changes the "tightness" of the vagina. Lie number three! Penetration does not cause any permanent changes in the vagina. As I said before, the vagina is a muscular tube, so it stretches to accommodate and then returns to its previous state. Even vaginal childbirth results in very few changes to the vagina. In that case, the changes to the internal configuration are extremely minimal. Some change may be noticed in the vaginal opening if serious tearing occurs and if not taken care of or if an episiotomy is done, but again this is generally fairly minimal. In my place (ibo land), once a woman gives birth to her baby, she is made to sit in very hot water for a couple of minutes and then she is asked to sit on a wooden or hard surface chair with her legs crossed most of the time. My mom also made me do the popular legal exercises once Ive had my babies and she told me to do this in order to reset my body lol. This I think is to help with healing the vagina and returning it to factory setting *wink*. Once I heal, I feel brand new and ready to roll lol. So if the passage of a baby does not permanently alter the vagina, it's not even logical that intercourse would cause changes. I haven't heard of a penis that is the size of a full term baby or have you?

So in short, worrying about being "tight" is a pretty pointless and actually counter-productive thing to do. Having sex will not make you looser. Not having sex will not make you tighter. There's not anything that is going to make you permanently "tighter" that is healthy or a good idea. And if you are feeling tight, that's a good sign that you don't want to be having sex right then anyway. If you want to do something like Kegel exercises, that's fine. Rather than making you inherently tighter during sexual arousal, it will probably give you more conscious control over those muscles that you can exercise during sex if you desire. But really, you should focus on being relaxed and enjoying yourself, rather than being as tight as a partner may (incorrectly) believe you should be. There is nothing to be worried about really. Whenever you feel you are too wet, just use baby wipes or any wipes that won't give you a reaction, squeeze out any excess water and the use this to quickly clean the area. This won't dry you out but will reduce any excesses. The most important thing really is to enjoy the intimate time you spend with your husband. It's really not all about penetration. Cuddling, kissing, admiring and caressing each other, go a long way in having a great sex. Please, always relax your mind and let whatever wants to happen to your body feel free to happen. Take your mind away from the fact that you are too loose or that your wife is too wet. Nothing says that when you feel too wet you can't change position and get one that will benefit you.

When you feel like the entrance to your vagina that is too loose there are positions that help. Try this: Lying either face up or face down, Try keeping your legs closed together while your husband penetrates you and you will feel a lot tighter. Be careful though, this may spark off a crazy signal in your hubby's head. Please make sure to shave so as not to bruise either of you lol. You can lie flat on your back and Place your legs on your husbands shoulders or you go on all fours but with your head and shoulders a lot lower than your hips. Anything that stimulates your g-spot should help too as it swells and makes you tighter. Reverse cowgirl should also be very good for both of you. You will sure feel tight with this position.

PLEASE NOTE; NEVER EVER TELL YOUR SPOUSE HOW WIDE OR HOW SMALL THEIR ORGANS ARE. YOU WILL ONLY DISCOURAGE THEM AND RUIN THEIR CONFIDENCE AND THEY WILL NEVER FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH YOU ANYMORE!! 

You met and married them the way they are so enjoy sex with them the best way you can. Love them, Teach them, Cherish them. Respect Them.  Nobody has it 100%. 

Aunty Muna.