The Male Perspective

Has The male brain got you confused? Most times we've tried to imagine what is in our husbands mind. Well, I've got some questions and answers to better understand our men.

1. What exactly makes a woman good in bed?

Enthusiasm trumps experience and tricky moves, and the best sex can't be measured by one person's performance. No, it's a two way traffic, It's about give-and-take, understanding your partner, and unpredictability so pounce on him when he least expects it.

2 . My husband swears he has no sexual fantasies. He's lying, right?

Through his teeth. You can't blame him though: Transparency isn't always easy when it comes to the kinky stuff. He's probably worried you'll react badly, get jealous over a daydream about his Pilates instructor at the gym, or judge him for being into something that you're not. So if you're going to push this conversation, you have to keep an open mind. The best way to get him to spill the beans? Cop to a fantasy of your own first—something tame to start. If that goes well, you can take turns, ratcheting up the raunch factor and maybe even trying a thing or two along the way.

3. Date nights for married couples: totally cheesy or are they actually a good idea?

Calling it date night is cheesier than a bad chick flick. But the occasional night out is a great idea—it is a necessity even. Just don't let it become part of your routine. Hit the newest joints in your area and have so much fun. Or start kissing and hugging your husband in the car for a while before you head into the house. You'll inject your relationship with some new blood or new life and give yourselves enough fresh memories to carry you through until the next escape.

4. How do I ask my guy to trim the 'fro down below?

​Most guys would rock a pink pubic Mohawk if they thought it would make them more sexy. They are free that way. Bring it up in a casual non-bedroom setting by saying something like: honey, I'm due for a trim down there. How about you do the same and we'll compare later?

5. Our down-there hair: totally bare, fancy landing strip, or au natural?

Less is definitely more, but rather than stick with a signature 'do, switch it up. Change keeps us guessing—and guessing keeps us interested. So maybe you start with a trimmed-down triangle. After a few weeks, whack it down to a landing strip. Then wait for a special occasion and take it all off. Wait a while, then let the grass grow back the same way it came off—start with a strip, then allow it to gradually fluff up and widen out. 

6 My husband has slept with tons of girls. How do I get over it?

Like a bad haircut, you're going to have to wait this one out. It Sucks, I know, but once his number is out of the bag, this pointless but potent piece of sexual intel will stop warping your brain only after you've established a track record together. And that takes time. Think about it this way: Why would he be so honest about his past if he wanted to repeat it? And if you're worried about not measuring up, don't measure up. Those girls all of them are sexual history for a reason. 

7. The only time my husband wants to have sex is at night, when I'm too tired. Why can't he be more flexible?

You both ought to be more flexible. If you're into wake-up sex, ask him what it will take for him to rise to the occasion. He may be more willing if you accommodate him once in a while too. Sure, it's tough to summon the energy for a drawn-out sex session after a long day, but you can take the pressure off with an after-work quickie before exhaustion settles in. Or ask him for a 5-minute massage to help you shed the tension of the day and you both get in the mood. 

Do guys like it when a woman is loud in bed?

Guys slobber over surround sound and subwoofers for a reason: They like vocals. Loud sex doesn't just add something to the physical and visual sensations they receive, it's also proof you're enjoying yourself and when you're turned on, they are turned on. But please while screaming, consider your newborns ok?

9. I caught my husband masturbating. Why does a guy who can have sex whenever he wants need to do this?

Caught? Well, it's not as if you found him sleeping with a dead body. I know this is hard to believe, but even sex with a gorgeous woman like you won't make a guy forget about the fun factory between his legs. (There's no pressure to perform on solo excursions, which is why guys like them.) But if it bothers you, lay down some rules. One: He should choose his moments wisely (when you aren't likely to interrupt). Two: Like a backpacker, he should leave no trace in the garbage, the computer's cache, etc. And three: He's augmenting his sex life, not replacing it. If there's something he wants in bed, he needs to ask.

10. My guy is never romantic. How can I get him to step it up?

Lame hints or jabs about your coworker's massive orchid delivery will only add to the pressure he probably already feels. Take the stress off by telling him you're okay with whatever he comes up with, whether it's watching the sunset together or cooking together. That said, it's fair to tell him your favorite kind of flower or the name of a restaurant you want to try. 

11. What outfit do guys find hottest?

You can't go wrong if you follow these three rules. One: Less isn't necessarily more. A snug fit can conjure up more daydreams than an eyeful of thigh. Two: Ditch the six-inch heels and contortionist bras. If you're not comfortable in your clothes, we won't be comfortable watching you in them. And finally, when in doubt, go with jeans that wrap you well and a soft cotton shirt—one just comfy enough for them to imagine how you'd feel in their hands. 

12. My guy skips the foreplay and kissing and goes straight for the main event. How can I get him to slow down?

He's jumping the gun because he knows he can. Slow his roll the next time he tries skipping steps, then remind him just how hot it was before he'd seen the promised land. Your best bet: taking things outside, like to a beach to sprawl out on a picnic blanket, pop a bottle of white, and start whispering dirty ideas in his ear and kissing a little. The public setting will cuff his wandering hands. You'll break 14 traffic laws en route, rock the bed off the box springs, and make your point: Good things come to those who wait.

13. Does expensive lingerie really turn guys on, or is it just a big waste of money?

Ever seen a 10-year-old tear into a Christmas present? That's pretty much what lingerie does to a guy. The better the packaging, the sooner it's stripped off, so think twice before dropping half your paycheck on velvet hems. Though guys do appreciate the effort, most are satisfied with the simple stuff: silky favorites and skimpy cuts that hug your curves like a roadster is just perfect.